Long Time Diver Barely Escapes Cave Alive

Long Time Diver Barely Escapes Cave Alive

Xisco Gràcia and his partner, Guillem Mascaró, went to explore Sa Piqueta, a cave in Mallorca.
***I added the commas to add the appositive.; Xisco Gràcia and his partner Guillem Mascaró went to explore Sa Piqueta, a cave in Mallorca.

After losing their guideline to the entrance, silt blurring their vision, and air slowly running out, the divers were in grave danger.
***In this sentence, I decided to give it a storytelling mood. If it is available, it would be very good to have a quote from the divers after this sentence. A quote on how they felt or what was going through their mind.; Losing their guideline back to the entrance, blurring their vision with silt, and slowly running out of air, the divers were in grave danger.

They decided for Guillem Mascaró to go find help as fast as he could and come back to save Xisco Gràcia.

Gràcia spent hours in an air pocket, that contained a dangerously high amount of carbon dioxide, contemplating his life and his family.
***I omitted "countless," it really wasn't needed. Also, once you have established the people in your writing, there is no need to repeat their whole name. Just the last name will be fine and it's more professional.; Xisco Gràcia spent countless hours in an air pocket, that contained a dangerously high amount of carbon dioxide, contemplating his life and his family.

After a while, he began to see his rescue, however, Gràcia realized it was only a hallucination, causing him to come to terms with reality and fate.
***I cleaned the sentence up some. I gave it some transitions to make it flow smoothly and took away some words to avoid being wordy.; He soon began to see his rescue to realize it was only a hallucination, causing him to come to terms with his reality and fate.

Guillem Mascaró rescued Gràcia, who was brought to a hospital and later came back to visit the cave again.
***Here, I am just correcting the names.
; Guillem Mascaró luckily rescued Xisco and Xisco Gràcia was brought to a hospital, and he later came back to visit the cave again.

Source-http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-40558067
Edited by Michael Morrow


Long Time Diver Barely Escapes Cave Alive

Xisco Gràcia and his partner, Guillem Mascaró, went to explore Sa Piqueta, a cave in Mallorca. After losing their guideline to the entrance, silt blurring their vision, and air slowly running out, the divers were in grave danger. They decided for Guillem Mascaró to go find help as fast as he could and come back to save Xisco Gràcia. Gràcia spent hours in an air pocket, that contained a dangerously high amount of carbon dioxide, contemplating his life and his family. After a while, he began to see his rescue, however, Gràcia realized it was only a hallucination, causing him to come to terms with reality and fate. Guillem Mascaró rescued Gràcia, who was brought to a hospital and later came back to visit the cave again.

Source-http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-40558067

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