Michael Morrow's Editing Internship

 The Complex Diet of a Vegetarian/Vegan ***I decided to focus on the facts given and base the title off of that. In the passage, you talk about all this info and it should be reflected in the title. And do not forget to capitalize every word in the title.; Are you a real or fake vegetarian/vegan? When it comes to a vegan or vegetarian diet, many choose two different ways of eating, either the plant diet index(PDI), the healthful plant-based diet(hPDI), or the unhealthy plant-based diet(uPDI).  In Ambika Satija's case, a postdoctoral fellow at Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health, she created an experiment of people who have a PDI or an hPDI. ***It would be beneficial to the passage if you include Satija's merit. Whenever it comes to research and scientific based work, it is very important to acknowledge a person's merit. It allows people to decide if the person is credible or not.; In Ambika Satija's case, she created an experiment of people who have a PDI or an h...

 Ravens: Terrifyingly Smart ***I chose this title because I thought it would be okay to add both elements of the fact the the birds are smart while being scary. ; Ravens:One of the Smartest Animals When it comes to thinking of ravens, many are either terrified or annoyed by these birds. However, these "terrifying" birds are a lot smarter than we thought. ***I made a small revision here, I removed "they were." I felt that these were just extra unnecessary words. You still have the same message as the original.; However, these "terrifying" birds are a lot smarter than we thought they were. Ravens can solve puzzles, use animals to their disposal, and communicate with each other. ***I made some corrections in this sentence: you used "there" instead of "their" and you used the wrong form of "dispose." In this case, you should be using "disposal" and not "disposable." I think this sentence needs help. Yiu could i...

 Moon Express Coming Soon Moon Express is hoping to be the first commercial company to land on the Moon and win the $20 million XPrize. ***I omitted "a company" from the sentence because it's not needed. However, you can more detailed information in that space, if you want. Instead of saying "a company," you could say "a Silicon Valley company" or "a company ran by space entrepreneurs."; Moon Express, a company, is hoping to be the first commercial company to land on the Moon and win the $20 million XPrize. Not only that, Moon Express also has plans for building a robotic outpost on the Moon by 2020. Moon Express is assembling three different robots for three different missions: the first, "Lunar Scout" will launch this year and it will dispatch a small telescope and a laser range finder to achieve the prize of $20 million, the second, called "Lunar Outpost" will inspect the frozen water and minerals in and on the Moon, th...

 Giving Happiness Scientists recently studied that giving makes us happy. Zurich scientists organized a 50-person experiment which tested patients and examined their happiness levels after acts of generosity. ***With this sentence, I decided the reword and reorganize it. The original had a lot of unnecessary words that were taken out. I don’t think it was really important to say the experiment was conducted “at a lab.” Since scientists were involved with the study, it's already implied that the setting is in a lab or in that similar setting.; Scientists organized an experiment with 50 people at a lab in Zurich who tested the patients and examined their happiness levels after acts of generosity. After each test, the patients’ brains would be examined with an MRI scan in which the scientists discovered that an area of the brain was triggered and would give a response to another part of the brain. ***This is another revised sentence where I switched phrases in the sentence. I replaced...

Is Immortality Good or Bad? ***I wanted to title more catchy while being straight to the point. That's what I came up with. I think on this subject topic, you can get very creative with the title.; Living Longer: Good or Bad? We, as humans, have always wanted to live longer. ***I added the commas and “as” to the sentence. This is a moment where you could use commas because if left as is, it wouldn't make since. Another suggestion is saying "As humans, we have always wanted to live longer."; We humans have always wanted to live longer. With many ways to live longer and life expectancy already varies greatly, but we won’t become immortal. ***I feel like this sentence was missing something to really connect the first and second half of the sentence. I tried adding to the first half of the sentence, but don't be afraid to go back into your source and see what changes you can make.; Life expectancy already varies greatly, but we won’t become immortal. There are many et...