Ravens: Terrifyingly Smart

 Ravens: Terrifyingly Smart

***I chose this title because I thought it would be okay to add both elements of the fact the the birds are smart while being scary. ; Ravens:One of the Smartest Animals


When it comes to thinking of ravens, many are either terrified or annoyed by these birds.

However, these "terrifying" birds are a lot smarter than we thought.
***I made a small revision here, I removed "they were." I felt that these were just extra unnecessary words. You still have the same message as the original.; However, these "terrifying" birds are a lot smarter than we thought they were.

Ravens can solve puzzles, use animals to their disposal, and communicate with each other.
***I made some corrections in this sentence: you used "there" instead of "their" and you used the wrong form of "dispose." In this case, you should be using "disposal" and not "disposable." I think this sentence needs help. Yiu could insert another sentence talking about how they do these things. Or you can add more detail in this sentence. What kind of puzzles? How do they use other animals? What ways do they communicate with each other that are different from other birds?; Ravens can solve puzzles, use animals to there disposable, and communicate with each other.

Two scientists at Lund University, in Sweden, examined the behavior of some ravens and found an incredible discovery.
***I added two commas in the sentence to make an appositive. I changed "tested on" into "examined the behavior of" to give this piece a more scientific feel to it. PLus, it is not as simple as the original while not being over complicated.; Two scientists at Lund University in Sweden tested on some ravens and found an incredible discovery.

In the experiment, the ravens had the choice of a tiny food crumb or a tool, they would rather use the tool to open a container of more food.
***I switched word choices in this sentence. Instead of "a choosing", I used "the choice." And to match I changed "and" to "or."; In the experiment, the ravens had a choosing of a tiny food crumb and a tool, they would rather use the tool to open a container of more food.

In conclusion, these ravens should not be feared but should be admired for their intelligence.
***I changed the ending of the sentence to match the rest of the passage. This passage is geared towards their intelligence and not about respect. I think it is more about admiration than respect and if you think about, respect comes with admiration.; In conclusion, these ravens should not be feared but should receive respect from all humans.


Source:http://www.popsci.com/ravens-smart-plan-ahead
Edited by Michael Morrow

Ravens: Terrifyingly Smart
When it comes to thinking of ravens, many are either terrified or annoyed by these birds. However, these "terrifying" birds are a lot smarter than we thought. Ravens can solve puzzles, use animals to their disposal, and communicate with each other. Two scientists at Lund University, in Sweden, examined the behavior of some ravens and found an incredible discovery. In the experiment, the ravens had the choice of a tiny food crumb or a tool, they would rather use the tool to open a container of more food. In conclusion, these ravens should not be feared but should be admired for their intelligence.

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