Amazon leads Whole Foods into the on-demand grocery system

Amazon leads Whole Foods into the on-demand grocery system

*** I think this title could be shorter and simpler. Readers don't want to see an eye full of a title. You should use rhetoric to catch the readers attention without overdoing it. ; Amazon buying Whole Foods to help make an easier on-demand grocery system


Amazon announced the second generation of its Dash Wand, an Alexa-enabled home barcode scanner that can add your grocery

items to your AmazonFresh cart.


The company's way to improve the Dash Wand was by announcing their $13.7 billion deal to buy the Whole Foods Grocery chain, which includes 461 stores across the US, Canada, and the UK.

***I replaced "the way" with "the company's" because even though we know you're talking about Amazon, it is better to address the company while not trying to use words like "their."; The way to improve their Dash Wand was by announcing their $13.7 billion deal to buy Whole Foods Grocery chain, which includes 461 stores across the US, Canada, and the UK.


Whole Foods stores are accessible to many Americans because it is usually an hour's drive to the store, which makes Amazon's on-demand grocery delivery easier.

***I omitted "way" at the end, "easier" is enough to get the point across.; Whole Foods stores are accessible to many Americans because it is usually an hour's drive to the store, which makes Amazon's on-demand grocery delivery way easier.


Amazon created this second-generation tool because interacting with the Alexa or Echo device can be as easy as saying "Honey, we need eggs."

***I added a hyphen between "second" and "generation" because this is a compound adjective, which normally uses hyphens. I also added "tool" because it gives the item you are talking about distinction. In most cases, try to be as specific as you can.; Amazon created this second generation because interacting with the Alexa or Echo device can be as easy as saying "Honey, we need eggs."


The order will arrive to its destination in a matter of an hour or so, completely fresh, organic, and straight off the shelves of the nearest Whole Foods store.

***Some readers may question where the order is going to. Like I said, being specific is important. I think you can take that part of the sentence work with it more. You could possibly say "The order will arrive at the customer's location."

; The order will arrive in a matter of an hour or so, completely fresh, organic, and straight off the shelves of the nearest Whole Foods store.


With the new technology being created, buying groceries will be easier and faster.

***I think this conclusion has a lot more potential to be much stronger. Even though "in conclusion" is a good transition to the closing sentence, it's not needed. I omitted "a lot" because it is not really needed however I do suggest replacing it with "much more." But I think it is fine without that phrase as well. After the word "faster", I deleted the rest of the sentence. You were able to make a strong enough point in the first part of it.; In conclusion, with the new technology being created, buying groceries will be a lot easier and faster way than going outside to retrieve those groceries.


Source:http://www.popsci.com/amazon-buys-whole-foods-dash-wand

Edited by Michael Morrow


Amazon Leads Whole Foods Into the On-demand Grocery System

Amazon announced the second generation of its Dash Wand, an Alexa-enabled home barcode scanner that can add your grocery items to your AmazonFresh cart. The company's way to improve the Dash Wand was by announcing their $13.7 billion deal to buy the Whole Foods Grocery chain, which includes 461 stores across the US, Canada, and the UK. Whole Foods stores are accessible to many Americans because it is usually an hour's drive to the store, which makes Amazon's on-demand grocery delivery easier. Amazon created this second-generation tool because interacting with the Alexa or Echo device can be as easy as saying "Honey, we need eggs." The order will arrive to its destination in a matter of an hour or so, completely fresh, organic, and straight off the shelves of the nearest Whole Foods store. With the new technology being created, buying groceries will be easier and faster.


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